| Section: | Intheknow |
| By: | KOH JOH TING |
| Publication: | The Straits Times 14/03/2007 |
Essentially, the article talks about how important parents are when it comes to their children handling sexuality issues; not only because children observe and follow their parents' examples, but also because parents have to teach them about it, guide the in the correct direction and ensure that they are not adversely influenced by other people or media. The article is trying to say that parents are a walking and interactive guidebook for their children, and it is thus their duty to present the information well and actually guide instead of misleading the reader(s).
Indeed, sexuality issues are paramount and these are issues that all children would have to face someday. What’s more, parents really should be concerned about these issues, as recent media reports have suggested, including one about a nine-year-old girl who managed to have sex with a 14-year-old schoolmate in her home and got pregnant, without her parents knowing. However, how many parents actually speak to these children while they still can be taught and when they still listen? Just as any parent would teach a child not to steal or take drugs, a parent should help a child make the right judgment when it comes to sexuality. Parents have to set the ground rules early before other media such as the internet can influence their perception and feelings about sex. Parents need not necessarily take up a harsh tone or even a serious tone when talking to their children about these issues. Although in the case of elder children, where gentle persuasion makes no impact, harsher tones or maybe even to a certain extent, 'violence', might have to be used to drive the point across as older teens are very obstinate. Trust me, I'm a teen myself. In the case of younger children, parents should however adopt a softer and kinder tone. After all, parents are trying to educate, not to scold. Regardless of what happens, parents really have to continue being supportive and keep communication lines open with their children.
If you treat talking about sex with your child as a lecture, you will achieve nothing. In fact, it might be both a waste of time and saliva. Instead, you must be ready to talk about sex, have a stand and persuade your child to have the same stand and to be prepared to handle sexuality issues.
Another thing that I feel is of utmost importance is the example that parent's set for their children. Many children look to their parents for guidance and instruction. Imagine a child saying, "Since mommy and daddy can do this..., then why I cannot?" Children take after their parents, not only in their character but also in their actions. A chauvinistic man usually has a chauvinistic father and a vain daughter often has a vain mother.
Well, children really do take after their parents and they base their actions on those of their parents. Hence, it really is the duty of a parent to guide their children in the right direction and to set a positive example. Especially for sexuality issues, it is the duty of the parents to talk to their children about sexuality issues and ensure that they set things straight.
Just remember, if your teenage child has sex and gets pregnant, it is not just their fault, so do not start shouting at them and threatening to disown because it is a result of things that you have or perhaps have not done. You might have set a poor example or did not guide them well. You could have done something about it.
Chew on it.
The link for the article
